On February 24, Russia attacked its neighbor and thousands of soldiers moved into Ukraine. War has been raging ever since, with no end in sight. One person who was there has now written down his experiences in a book: 33-year-old paratrooper Pavel Filatiev.

He has since resigned from the army for health reasons. His book is called “ZOV” (after the symbol that the Russian military paints on their vehicles). In this he gives an insight into the state of the army before the war and describes his experiences in the first days of the invasion.

Excerpts from his book were first published by the journalism platform iStories, and then the Russian online medium Meduza also published passages from the book.

His descriptions make it clear how poorly prepared the invasion was – and that the soldiers simply did not know what exactly was happening: “[On February 24, editor’s note. Red.] I woke up at two o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t understand: are we shooting at advancing Ukrainians? Or maybe on Nato [troops]? Or do we attack? Who is this infernal fire aimed at?”

His unit didn’t know what was going on either: “The column slowly started to move. I heard shots and explosions from the direction we were going. Where we went and why was not clear. But it was clear that a real war had begun.”

Losses quickly became very high: “Those who broke through first were destroyed. The guys told me there were only 50 people left in their brigade.”

Read here: Why the Kremlin sends poor, non-Russian fighters to the front

The paratrooper also confirms in his book that the technology used by Russia is “hopelessly outdated”. In addition, the combat tactics used by the Russian army are the same as those used by their grandfathers – meaning the tactics of the Red Army in World War II. “Our entire education was only on paper.”

In the first days of the war it was bitterly cold. “Nobody had sleeping bags, the frost crept into your bones. We didn’t even need the enemy, the leadership placed us in such conditions – homeless people live better,” writes Filatiev.

For health reasons, Filatiev left the army after two months, but the military leadership did not want to recognize this. The same happened to many others, the former paratrooper writes: “The command said I would evade duty and sent documents to the public prosecutor’s office to initiate criminal proceedings. With this bluff they are trying to send a lot of people back.”

According to Filatiev, most of the army is dissatisfied with what has happened, with Putin and his policies. “We had no moral right to attack another country, especially the people closest to us. When it all started, I only knew a few people who believed in the Nazis and also wanted to fight against Ukraine. We didn’t harbor hatred and didn’t see Ukrainians as enemies.”

And further: “Most of the army is dissatisfied with what is happening there. They are dissatisfied with the government and its commander, with Putin and his policies, and with the defense minister who does not serve in the army.”

The 33-year-old also speaks clearly of “war” – that’s actually forbidden in Russia. “We have all become hostages to many forces, and I think we have allowed ourselves to be carried away. We started a terrible war. A war that will destroy cities and result in the deaths of children, women and the elderly.”

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