one of the things that most characterizes this time, must be cooperation and unity. Or as it so beautifully is been formulated: the community spirit.
Everyone is doing his, and even though there usually is a disagreement among the people, we stand together now. Therefore, this time also really ‘exciting’ for us compound families.
For now hold up, if you thought that a complex family cooperation required before the crisis, so you can now multiply it by 10.
It should just be said that I have three children with two different men, and that I do not live with any of them. Already there, we work with three children in three locations (Yes, I know, I do not make it easy for myself).
Ie. in addition to having to take a position to my children and my own family must also be addressed to both fathers, families and potential lovers. People’s different attitudes and health. It is crazy many people and addresses, which now really should play with open cards, and cooperation on everyone’s joint health.
For slacking off a little bit on it somewhere, it may indeed potentially ‘go beyond’ others in the family, which fit extra well on. When there are older persons with chronic conditions among, becomes unity and the ‘familiesindet’ extra challenged.
And there it is as if ‘together, each for himself’ is not really love, when the lovely kids binds us all together and still running various deleordninger.
More specifically, it is about to get a plan with two fathers who have slightly different views as to how to move in this time, three children with different needs, which I don’t necessarily have at the same time, some grandparents, who play very different roles in their children’s lives, and so one’s own life.
We chose f.ex., I was going to have the big kids with me since my daughter some time ago came home from the study tour to the UNITED states, and their father was in quarantine.
That meant that my youngest should be 14 days with her father to keep my daughter away from him, if she now would have become infected in the UNITED states. And it demanded that all parties were set on the plan, even though it involved a bit of discussion and quite a few need.
But the best we can do is to talk together about our own familiestrategier, what we can and cannot do, and what the children can and cannot do. What you can do with the logistics involved, if some become infected, and not least how we communicate the situation to the children.
And you’re going to discuss and disagree many times, which is a part of the uncertainty and the doubt, for eventually, there will be birthdays, start of school or extravagant teenagers, we as parents will have different views as to what should happen.
So let us seize the situation as an opportunity to rehearse us in more communication, more consideration for each other, more flexibility than in everyday life and more compassion for other members of the family, because we are forced to keep focus on something that is bigger and more important than ourselves.
Namely, on life and our children.
For perhaps coronaen in just skilsmisseland lead something useful with itself, forcing us to cooperate and keep focus on something that is bigger and more important than who takes the fodboldturneringen on Sunday…
there can certainly be no doubt about that.
Sarah Zobel
Sarah Zobel is a psychologist and author. She is the mother of three children and the author of three books. Find her on Instagram: sarah_zobel9.
