Want a big, but pure love, asked one a movie character and the name of the girl in the barn. In Soviet times it was perceived as crude humor. Today, as one of the normal scenarios of the relationship between a man and a woman. In the yard – a new round of the sexual revolution. This is indicated not only professionals but also parents of young couples in mind who did not understand how you can “live”.
Command polls under the leadership of sociologist Vladimir Ilyin in the study “the Two in society. Intimate couple in the modern world” focused on young citizens who are in “informal” relations, or without a scientific delicacy they say, roommates. The first thing they noticed: digital technologies have fundamentally changed the sexual life in big cities. Now you do not need to Hippolyte or visit nudist beaches, as did the first advocates of freedom in love: click with the mouse will provide a new way of life.
“When we started this study, many were embarrassed to admit that I use Dating sites. Now it has become a normal attribute of the young man. There has been a qualitative leap in the improvement of sexual relations. If earlier “platform” where there was the choice of a partner was limited geographically “Piglet” streets of the village labor collective, student group, now it has grown to a planet – says Ilyin. Is a paradox of the horizon.
the Girl seems the best only until the next click, which opens new prospects and new hopes. Moreover, in the history of modern pairs are not uncommon parallel search: like a man would chose a partner, but the hand still reaches for the proverbial mouse”.
According to scientists, the attitude toward sex among the young is developing in the type of love for fast food. For this process coined the term “mcdonalization”. Parallel with fast food are very clever, if you notice that the technology is “cooking” experience in recent years is simplified on a global scale, which, for example, promote high-quality electronic translators, which remove the problem of language barrier.
Sociologists have reported the occurrence of so-called emotional capitalism, which is replaced by emotional socialism.
This is one reason why older relatives of modern couples are accustomed to perceive marriage as a story from first kiss to a common place in the cemetery, I can not understand and approve light “project relationships”: took “Roman” off the shelf”, read it, put in place, took another… the Mission of the children’s birth is inferior to the hedonic task to joint the fun.
“the elderly are accustomed to, that sexual life is focused on the fate of met, looked at each other, dizzy, and then “you will!” explains the ODS��rector of the program of gender studies of the European University Anna Temkina. – Another thing, emotional capitalism is when it all counts, calculates. If romantic love freed the woman and helped her individualization, then these new trends free from deep emotions, and allow you to build intimate sexual life as a project”.
meanwhile, psychologists, sexologists record a great change to the structure of the marriage. “The autonomy and freedom of the partners to each other are not what separates people, but rather, what binds them and gives a sense of stability, says, at first glance, contradictory judgment, a well-known physician and psychotherapist Lev Shcheglov. – Paired this motivation (the worship of his own “ego”) seems strange, but it exists and it works on compatible”.
Among the modern couples can, for example, the paradoxical intertwining of conservative and liberal philosophy of life. “The liberal component is manifested in an increase in the practice of intimate cohabitation – said Ilyin. These relations are moving from the category of sin and immorality in the category of style: everyone makes his own choice and tastes differ. All valid. And the conservative wing – the failure of juvenile justice and criticism of the law on domestic violence: that is, outsiders (government and society) there is nothing to interfere, marriage is a private affair of individuals”.
With complaints that a partner or spouse too protects the boundaries of his “territory”, have experienced practicing psychologist, author of “the Fears of these men that every woman should know”, the blogger anetta Orlova. “Behavioral autonomy, of course, promotes self-reliance and competition. Increasingly, the freedom of talking about it as a necessity to bring the concept of life, – she said. – Today people with money and education if you want to secure a comfortable existence and without a partner.”
And coronavirus only exacerbated the question of a joint life. According to sociologists, about two equal groups divided by those who believe that the loneliness easier to bear isolation, and those who think the opposite. “The situation of the pandemic is allowed to notice all the responsibilities of the middle class was transferred to outsourcing (since the nurses and staff of cleaning companies to Tutors). And it turned out that in the usual quarantine a couple days mostly were together, only when I went shopping or for a walk. That is the essence, the meaning of the family (her privacy and intimacy) centered around leisure and entertainment,” says associate Professor of sociology, faculty of HSE (St Petersburg) Larisa Shpakovskaya.
a Young man is society wife-beauty prefers to watch children’s multiKi. This story would be funny if it were not so sad. “New developments in sexual behavior amaze us. Is sex addiction and so-called boredom is erotic, when a person ignores the sex in the absence of purely medical difficulties, and the emergence of communities of asexuals, – says Lev Shcheglov. And cult of youth, which grinds the fate of the family and ensures that millions of all these nutritionists, proofreaders figures, “otrazhatelei” and “preryvatelei” something”.
According to the sexologist, a new round of the sexual revolution, which covered all the cities of the world, has led to the fact that the number of cases of sexual scripts beyond count. “Culture was said to Dmitry Likhachev, develops like a narrowing of the sphere of the forbidden. It gradually deflates, like shagreen leather. Both positive and negative in this trend can be detected that is enough,” the doctor admits. For example, available information about norm from pathology has become more difficult. And criteria that 20 years ago was considered sufficient and objective, are losing their “demarcationist”.
“Hard limit normal sexual behavior becomes virtually impossible,” – said of goldfinches.
With global transformation “market partners”, which has become boundless, there are new profession. For example, web-models, which provide a virtual sex through web Cams. “And this area of activity is becoming very popular among those young people who do not want to work hard and to learn, – says the sociologist Ilyin. – Sex – revolution: prostitutes off the street to the Internet. This gives ease of access, one click and there are no psychological and cultural barriers. The focus is put on the relationship, where beyond made all the difficulties, conflicts, jealousy, lapping, budget. Only pure pleasure, then there is a service”.
But what is important in all this mess of news and new products: people still get married. “Couples still formed. And this despite the fact that the legitimate wife, can be replaced and sex, and cooking food, and cleaning the apartment!
But the emotional intimacy, the intimacy is very difficult to outsource. She now is the linking of marriage. What you want (everyone, even the most Packed) from a relationship? To feel that you needed to own it, the usefulness of connectedness. Today the “I” in marriage is much more, but “we” need”, States Annette Orlova.
“a Couple of rallies only in the mode of intimacy: intellectual (there is a lot to talk about), spiritual (shared values), sex (the experience of another body, where spiritual and physical are intertwined) and sexual, with an emphasis on physiology. Ideally, when all these components match. And it still happens�� “- encouraged by Vladimir Ilyin.
Russian women prefer honest, but Russian men are beautiful.
These data from the latest opinion polls, voiced its General Director Valery Fedorov: “the Ideal choice for Russian women to be honest – so said 22 percent of respondents sociologists. Apparently, pent up. The reliability and protection needed 19 percent of our citizens. Responsibility today are looking for in men 16% of women and almost as much honesty and kindness is 14 percent. But Russian men looks and beauty conquer still Russians male – almost a third. The intelligence and education in second place with 22 percent, sincerity and honesty in third place. The five qualities of the ideal woman includes kindness and thrift”.
Surprisingly, 8 percent of our citizens (the highest) believe that the best way to get acquainted with the second half in the library. Such idealists are more than those for whom preferable to a disco or bar. But the most popular answer, and where you actually met – “”in the circle of friends” (27 per cent).
