it Seems that an isolationist who went to the second month, could be used. However, it goes far not all. To family conflicts increase the fear of losing a job or worrying thought how to find her. In such a difficult situation optimistic and ironic history of Darya Dontsova – breath of joy. In an interview with “MK” the writer told about overcoming fear, finding a job and the virtual world, which will never replace live communication.
How do you spend time in isolation?
I work, I write a new book. I have not changed anything – except that he canceled shooting for the TV channel “SPAS”.
For many permanent stay in the four walls becomes an ordeal, broken family, what should I do?
– Why is isolation so surprised? Their way of life, when people run every day after work in a café, cinema or shopping, there is in our country quite recently. I am a former Soviet woman, and our life was different, everyone knew who and when is finished, and after the service went for groceries, cooked, did homework with the kids. In his spare time with his friends met, made friends with the neighbors. Every day no one in the restaurant went first, money was not so much, second, cafe had enough. We spent time with family, friends.
My Instagram is now full of messages from young women: “What a mess! Husband at home all day, I have a child. Does not come to me neither mom nor the nanny. I’m depressed”. These messages frighten me. In a short period has grown a generation of people for whom family is on the second place, and the first of her own desire. Yes, the man issued a marriage because it’s necessary, all friends are getting married, and I want. And fathered a child for the same reason. I as a mother of three children who never had babysitters, diapers, baby food jars, with difficulty restraining order not to ask them a question. If you are annoyed husband at home, then why are you married? Maybe you are the fact came out, and after the isolation you need to make decisions in your personal life? If you suffer, having a baby, then why had a child? Maybe you have less to love yourself and to love her husband and child? And because self-isolation is not somebody’s evil whim but a temporary stay at home because of dangerous disease. You against the isolation? You want to die? To bury elderly parents?
You mentioned social networks. Today, more often say that the pandemic will lead to the final transition to online. How is the real script?
– When a person begins with someone close to communicate in social networks, for that invariably follows then meeting in real life.Even you live in Moscow, and she in the Kuril Islands, you will certainly want to see personally. Man is a gregarious animal. From the primitive communal system as it is alone is impossible to survive, we need a team. A social network is an illusion of love and friendship. Other social networks do you call a person who puts you like. But even if it you really? If you take your foot off the tram, he comes to the hospital and will take care of you? Doubtful. So there’s not much to rely on the social network. They are good for information sharing, possibly for education, which you are unable to due to various reasons in reality. Good for girls who are looking for husband and can’t find him. There’s an extensive help system. These are the pros but there are cons.
I know how much nonsense written on the web about different disease, about diet, about the soda treatment. Hair stand on end when I read it all. A lot of ignorant bloggers who are in trouble with the Russian language, orthography, and punctuation, write “great” words: to lay down, can fuck theirs. I wouldn’t believe the girl who wrote that all “paperout” from coronavirus, it is first necessary to learn the written word. And, alas, the Internet is a lot of lies, and, for example, instagram has turned into a fair of iniquity: photoshop,shooting in my apartment, in someone else’s clothes, all in order to look rich. Look! Impress, cause envy. Once I saw a girl leaving a clothing store with friendly prices, took out a bag of plastic bags are known for their expensive Moscow shopping center and shifted in his purchase and went, proudly looking around. I followed her with a package of inexpensive Department store and understood: this girl will be very difficult to live with, she is pathologically dependent on the opinions of the crowd. And this influence of social networks. I don’t believe that social media will replace real communication. Excuse me, sex with a girl you will be involved on the microphone? Baby you can kiss through the screen? His mother, when she cries, you wesite online? If Yes, then you are a cyborg.
However, after isolation to re-evaluate my life still have?
Yes, if you do not want to become another victim of an epidemic. If you have increase foot six weight one hundred and fifty pounds, and the growth coincided with the waist – then you’re at risk for all diseases, not only by the coronavirus. You constantly eat red meat the risk of cancer of the rectum, use toilet paper – a huge percentage of probability of cancer of the anus, which is not in the Arab countries, because they have in the closet is a pitcher of water. There are lots of other scary and unpleasant. No need to shout on the Internet: “Let us all unite and stand up to fight the coronavirus!” During an outbreak, don’t need the screamers, Amateur alarmists. Leave fighting the disease for professionals, for doctors. From the start itself. Look at your family, parents, friends. Explain to them how to use the masks. And then I watch as masked men Ho��Yat. She dressed like the nose opened – then what’s the point of using the mask? Buy neighbor old products. Quietly, so buy and bring, without howling in the Internet. Just help one person.
You beat cancer. How this experience allows us to perceive today’s events
– I do not tend to panic. I know that viruses are a huge number, all of them unknown to science. Epidemics occur regularly. Another question, why some “smart” people write about refusing to vaccinate their children, in terms of the fact that the child does not hurt. It does not hurt because other children are vaccinated, but what happens if you refuse a vaccination? We are already talking about the epidemic of measles. The disease was and always will be. The question is, do you perceive them from the point of view of logic and reason, or read news on the Internet that all “paperout” from the coronavirus. The one who berates homosexuals and claims that every gay man should be hanged on a fence, most likely, he had at least one homosexual contact. It is absolutely accurately traced according to statistics, psychologists who work with such people. If someone says that the coronavirus we all die, we will starve and everything will be awful, a journalist throws his personal fear. Yes, the situation is not so simple, Yes, it’s actually a very serious disease, it is very easy to pick up and to pick up, but you can avoid infection, safely, and most patients recover.
Is fear of the unknown?
No fear of the unknown, but there is one of the basic human fears – death of his own body. When a person believes in the Lord, he is not afraid of death, the Believer knows that Christ is Risen and death no soul, only a corruptible body. But the unbeliever is afraid of death, he thinks that the death of the body is all over! He can’t honestly say: “I’m afraid to die.” He can’t his terror with no one to share: nor friend, nor husband and wife. Unspoken fear poured one in alcohol, one in anger, one in a desire to hate all of humanity, and who in the desire to scribble about the impending death from starvation. I pity those who at the time of testing, instead of support people to explain how itself should be conducted, reports only negative information and often lies.
– How to overcome the fear of death?
– For this to be a spiritual life. To eat well, to dress, to get an apartment, car, if you only think about what you have material there, you will always be bad. The bodily needs have no limit. He wanted “Lada”, then bought a small imported car, then Maybach, Maybach then with gold handles. There is no limit to desires, there is always someone who is richer, more successful you. And appearancehiccups terrible internal dissonance, because when a person ages, or attack the character of the disease, the same cancer he was in a panic: “How am I going to lose it all?!” He has no inner core, he has nothing to rely on, because everything that can be touched, never is the lifeline for our soul.
the happiest people are not tied to the material world. They really don’t care what kind of car to drive – and in General, they have a car or not. In their mind very different thoughts. When one goes from material consumption and trying to lead a spiritual life, his fear disappears, appears self-esteem, disappear problems in family life. Any scandal, for example, when his wife rebukes you a small salary stops with the phrase: “You’re right, I agree with you. I really don’t earn much money, are lazy, but will try something to do with it”. Or boss: “Yes, you are right. I’m here unfinished, unfinished, but I have the opportunity to put everything in order.” That’s when there is a domestic feeling that I’m not the most good, not the smartest, not the most beautiful person in the world – begins a different life. Then you will never have fear, because the car, apartment, money you can easily select. But faith in God can not take away, this is the lamp that will illuminate your journey and will give you eternal life for your soul. “The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear: what can man do to me?” This is a quote from the Bible.
Your novels can be called life-affirming. The characters manage to get out of difficult situations in which they find themselves. Now many from-for crisis have lost work or are in dire financial conditions. That you could recommend?
– we Should try to understand that if you lost your job, Yes, very frustrating, but when a door closes, a window often opens. And if you do not open a window, that is the crack under the door, and there you can crawl through. I understand that now most of the population ran out of money. But perhaps this situation will teach people how to handle money carefully. Not to live from payday to payday and somehow even with a very small income create a small safety cushion, or to look for additional earnings. Do not sit on the job that you hate, and uninteresting, and little pay, to risk going to another. service. Live in a city where there is no work? Russia is huge, somewhere you will find a good salary. Hear the voices: “That’s bullshit, I was born here, I got apartment, Villa, where to go? “There is always a choice. It is possible to rise from their homes and go to where they get the money, there are places, just look for them. Can I spend a penny in his hometown. Here everyone makes the choice himself.
Maybe the current situation will teach n��which women do not read the advice: “Those boots you bought last year in the fall, is already unfashionable, and you’re a loser in them, buy a new one from the company N!” Maybe she will realize that “blogger, consultant for fashion” gets money from the firm N, look at your boots and think, Yes, my shoes is something quite new, or are starting to buy classic things, doing the basic wardrobe, which over the years does not lose relevance and will save a good amount of rest. Maybe she will realize that you don’t need to get fat to a state of juicy Behemoth. Then it will open the wardrobe, find things that were fashionable twenty years ago, and now again at the peak, and they will again be fit for her? What we’re saying is the basic principles of saving money.
– do You think that associated with the pandemic crisis will teach the people to do with money?
I really hope that the coronavirus will change us for the better, because the last time I was just terrible for people. I wrote on Instagram: “Please give money”. “Well, – I asked, – why do you need money?” “I have three children, I have nothing to eat”. “How did you get into this situation?” “I have a loan on the iPhone”. “Honey, why did you buy an iPhone, when you have three kids, and working with a very modest salary? There are great cheap phones with Internet and camera, why would you buy an iPhone?” Answer: “All my friends with iPhones, and what am I, a loser?” That’s when the head will be that you are a loser not because you don’t have the latest iPhone model, but because of you my life is nothing but information on the can of air freshener in the bathroom did not read – that if you come to mind, then you will cease this sucker to be. Of course, feel sorry for people who got sick, terribly sorry for those who had no money for good reasons, those who have cut back. But, if you are deprived of work, and you’re in panic crying a month, then want to take credit, then it is wrong. To cry you 15 minutes, then have to turn the head and look for a job, any job, even undesirable, not their specialty, you now need to survive. The situation will improve in the country, then look for a good service.
How to earn their bread in such a situation?
– I remember very well how in the early 70’s there were no child support with a small child. The newspaper “Evening Moscow” I was then paying about forty five rubles, and for the cooperative apartment, which before the death of my dad built, but to buy did not, had to give eighty. I was minus thirty-five roubles every month. What to do? One time I was walking down the street and saw at the Kiev station on the lamp ad – looking for a cleaner. I was so happy. Asked back with a cry of: will be the best cleaner. The uncle who took me, a wonderful man of about fifty, said,”Darling, it will be necessary to wash toilets. Can be washed and passenger halls, but they pay fifteen rubles less.” I said, “I toilets”. I really needed these fifteen rubles. And I have a scent you can not imagine what I any smell from a mile away smell – the dog is resting. In General, took. Then it was impossible to officially work two jobs and I hitched a grandmother, thanks to this uncle. Was given a MOP and I cleaned toilets so diligently, so I then added the money raised and dispatched to clean other rooms. Finally, this same uncle gave me to wash a dental clinic near the house. That was a real treat. No money – don’t expect that you will offer to work with the President. This will not happen, but somewhere you can clean toilets. Well, wash for some time. I was once aired on radio, started at eleven in the evening, finished in the morning. Well remember how I was called and said: we in the city don’t work. So move to another city. “And as I leave a suburban area?”. Either you need a job and you go somewhere that you’re willing and able to change, or are you sitting, doing nothing – and then, however, nothing will change. Under the rolling stone gathers no moss. Here it is necessary for each person to try to change my life for the better. You know, it’s always possible, but for this one you will not do. Nobody will give you happiness.
– the Approaching Anniversary of the Victory. This time on may 9 in Russia will take place without a parade. What it means for you this day?
I was born in 1952. The war ended recently. Then I lived in the house at metro Airport. There was the wheelchair market. War invalids were allowed to trade their personal items. They were called artisans. It was a way to make such people: the armless, the legless, the blind, the deaf. My friend went to school through the market and back. We were always terrified. We saw these men and women and understand that war is terrible. The mother of my close buddies had experienced the siege of Leningrad. The rest of my life, and it is very long lived, she could not leave on a plate or piece, gathering the crumbs from the table. We all knew and didn’t tell her anything. My mother and grandmother were digging trenches near Moscow in a cold terrible winter. Fought father. So for us, may 9 has always been a great holiday. My grandmother died seven brothers. The first Pope’s wife, Freda B., who worked as a Pravda correspondent, lost his leg. She had a prosthesis. Dad to the end of life supported her, even when I divorced and married my mom. A close friend of the parents, aunt Kristina – Polish writer Christine Zywulska. In her hand was a room. She’s a Polish Jew, but a blue-eyed blonde, and is therefore not burned in the crematorium, taking the polka. Christina was liberated by Soviet troops and then she wrote the book��GU “I survived Auschwitz”. One day I asked her: “Auntie Cristea, where did you get the number on the hand?”. She explained that she was in a German death camp and told me this phrase: “you Know, Grushenka (my real name Agrippina), most importantly, to all their misfortunes and all the fear not eaten your future life.” This absolutely brilliant phrase, we can turn to the current situation. So fear is not necessary, and should be the elementary rationality: to wear a mask, wash hands and sit at home. You’ll have enough Turkey to go and restaurants to visit. Self-isolation for a while, and from what you from this time out – a trembling creature or man that became stronger and took important decisions, it depends on you, the state here and.
