With these questions of readers “RG” will help you understand a certified teacher of Alexander Podolsky, part-time, mother of two sons, 8 and 5 years. Alexander graduated from the Moscow state pedagogical University, but is currently involved with raising boys, and the eldest son, besides getting an education in family education.
Alexander that is not against computer games. Can you clarify which ones?
Alexander Podolsky: a Computer game is that children often choose together with the Pope. It is their “man’s world”, which I’m not interfering. I told my sons that in my childhood so outplayed in the console that now just doesn’t interest me “hodilki-shooters”, and I can captivate except logic games. And they are happy to share with me if you find new interesting games with numeral dice.
On weekends, the father and sons unite the phone with the network and play the same game three, for example, now they got interested in the BrawlStars. This is a great way and communication, and splash the accumulated male aggression, and the joy of victories together, teamwork. I think the next level after popular games like “Minecraft” may be the development of computer programs related to design. In the game you can turn many things – the development of the printing method blindly, learning a foreign language, elementary mathematics. The virtual world is intertwined today in real life, and I’m not opposed to kids acquainted with him, if you think its interesting. But, of course, I met with different opinions on this, and they also have the right to exist.
Many now say that children suffer a forced stay in the walls of the apartment – capricious, cry, beg for a walk. What to do?
Alexander Podolsky: Usually, children are easy to persuade by offering them something in return, some interesting activity. There is such a psychological exercise – ask yourself: “When you want what you really want?” When your child is so much begging on the street what he wants? After all, fun to play at home, but if not enough fresh air, it is possible to dress warmly or cover yourself with a blanket and ventilated room, breathing the fresh air. Maybe the child lacks something completely different? For example, your attention, your time?
But the children of 5-7 years “rage” from overstimulation – what should parents do?
Alexander Podolsky: First it is important to understand that children cope with their own States and emotions is more complicated than adults. When I see that the children overexcited, then make the floor soft mattresses and translate their chaotic activity in the ordered. For example, give them sports upraneniya, show some new games or turn on the music and give the opportunity to jump and to dance. It is enough half an hour. But if this happens when dad needs to talk on the phone or in another uncomfortable situation, in this case for young children there are designers, kinetic sand, a variety of Board games that you can print or draw it yourself. With children of school age it is already possible to negotiate when that is possible and impossible.
But perhaps the issue with excessive activity in children is a question to myself: why am I nervous that the children “rage”? Perhaps my own nervous system is overstrained? What can I do? Sometimes you can leave children under the care of the other parent, to close and to take a bath or go to the grocery store. You can simply say: “Children, today I get annoyed for any reason, could you to play quieter, or I will eat you”. Joke also relieves stress.
And what to do when children are really no longer listen to? Divert or punish?
Alexander Podolsky: This question also has nothing to do with quarantine. Very young children are working only with positive emotions, interest and game. Bother them and create a child. After all, education is about give and give. Obedience of children is a genuine response from us whether we listen to them, too? Lee aware and satisfy their needs according to age, sex and individual characteristics? Obedience is important, and reciprocity: “do You like it when I listened to you, like to get what you want? Then you listen to me, because mom and dad also have their wishes.”
There is a common belief that boys should be spoiled. You share it?
Alexander Podolsky: Not so much to spoil how much to give them love: on the one hand, help to fulfill their desires, but without the pressure to lead. And it is equally necessary for girls and boys. To obtain it in the family, in my opinion, is to humanize what is given by nature. Thinking about it, every time I find new reasons why it is better to listen to is loving parents. Recently read to children about “the ransom of red Chief”. The story of the native boy, the return of which the house did not want even his family. The story is funny and sad at the same time. It makes kids ask the question: “Mom, what’s that?” The discussion of these books or TV shows is useful for preventing a variety of situations – prevention is better than correction.
Child stopped sleeping. What to do if you can give sedatives without consulting a doctor?
Alexander Podolsky: I Think that medication can only recommend the doctor. I personally do not faced with this problem, but when you see that children don’t want to sleep, I suggest they either read at night or if I’m tired, listen to audio fairy. Now we learn a big book about the adventures of Winnie the Pooh: there are many independent chapters, and children are waiting for continue of the stories, with pleasure went to bed. To relax at bedtime also helps shower. If not sleeping Junior, he usually asks for a hug, we are 10 minutes talking about what was troubling him, or interested in, and he falls asleep. Most importantly, that near him I fell asleep because I have night often got things that are nice to do in silence.
What to do if children are in conflict, quarrel?
Alexander Podolsky: Perhaps if it happens often, you need to sit down and discuss what to do in order to keep quarrels to a minimum. In simple cases, you can take them apart at different ends of the “ring” to them. If something like that happens, I repeat loudly enough: “Learn to negotiate. Learn to negotiate with words.” In difficult situations I am ready to help. Explain that in any situation involving two people, and therefore one is never to blame. Each of the participants in the argument necessary to show what was the mistake of one of them, and in the other. And most importantly – to remember that we love each other. But, in my experience, the frequent quarrels between the children is a short period during the passage of the crisis of the age. Parents at such times you need to be patient and to help children who may be remembering ourselves.
what do you do if you have an urgent work (for example, on remote), and the children need attention right now?
Alexander Podolsky: I think if there is a need to work, you have to in the absence of a mother with her child was a competent and loving adult: the grandma volunteer, qualified nanny, freed from the Affairs of the Pope. If this is not possible, but there is a desire for the mother or the economic need to work, we come up with a solution.
whether in the period of self-isolation to attract children to it work? What?
Alexander Podolsky: I Think, Yes – to the extent which is customary in the family. But so as not to break the recommended for their age mode. I’m not a supporter to download children them uninteresting cases. Please do the usual: clean up after themselves, help set the table, etc. Training program they have a rather complicated and lengthy, I try to keep them focused on the tasks required by the age. There is a lot of interesting things, don’t be in a hurry to grow up too fast. Need to get pleasure from the fact that it gives your age and your snie.
