“I gave myself a mission, to be the Joan of Arc of perimenopausal women! », exclaims Mirella Di Blasio, author of Perimenopause without filter, 40 symptoms to tame, whom we met in her office on Boulevard Saint-Laurent.
“And don’t roll your eyes, gentlemen, because this book is for you too,” she said. It will be useful for you to better understand your spouses, colleagues, friends, sisters. »
The tone is set. We don’t mess with Joan of Arc! It was while reading an article about menopause in the New York Times Magazine titled “The Silent Suffering” that Mirella Di Blasio said to herself: “Enough is enough, it’s time to help women through this difficult period of their life. We must fight against the stigma and discrimination against menopausal women, and that is why I wrote this book. » She quotes journalist Susan Dominus, who ended her article like this: “If men experienced the symptoms of menopause like us women, we would have looked into possible solutions a long time ago! »
Mirella Di Blasio is a woman full of energy who founded her company Lulu events, a corporate events agency, in 2003. At the time of perimenopause, which is the gradual transition towards menopause (in her forties), a storm of symptoms hit her head on. She no longer recognized herself, died of fatigue, she had joint pain, memory loss, hot flashes, headaches, dry skin, depression, insomnia, anxiety, low self-esteem. She wanted to leave her partner, run away from her responsibilities, send her clients away and hide while it passed.
“It’s a thankless phase of life and sometimes some women don’t accept getting older. They don’t want to be seen as anything other than strong women, in control, they’re afraid to show their vulnerabilities, when they feel bad physically and mentally, it’s terrible,” she says.
In her book, she talks about the 40 symptoms related to perimenopause and talks about her experience with humor and self-deprecation. There are also testimonies from women, because the author believes that it must be talked about without taboo. “Too many women still feel ashamed,” she says.
To complete it all, journalist Sophie Allard collected advice from 12 health and wellness professionals. Gynecologist, sexologist, dermatologist, physiotherapist, dietitian-nutritionist, naturopath and yoga teacher offer possible solutions to better get through this stage of life. “Every woman can find what suits her. There are avenues to explore,” says Mirella Di Blasio.
But how can we change attitudes? Education remains key. “We need to tell people how important it is to talk about the menopause, raise awareness of the symptoms women can have which can be painful. It’s true that we talk about it more, there was the documentary by Véronique Cloutier, there is Michelle Obama, Naomi Watts, Oprah Winfrey, but there needs to be more support in the workplace. In Canada, a quarter of the workforce is made up of women aged 40 and over. Women suffer in silence, do not raise their hands to obtain positions of responsibility, because they feel they are missing out, believes the author. It makes us anxious, we doubt ourselves, we feel old, we feel guilty, because we are not at our best. We feel guilty. »
According to the author, there has been progress, but not enough. “It’s 2023, we should be further ahead than that. We should have more resources, more support, right? Many women say they feel like they’re the only ones struggling with perimenopause, so let’s talk about it openly, because if we’re not able to show our true colors among ourselves, for fear of looking old, we won’t. ‘won’t move forward,” Mirella Di Blasio concludes.
“Waking up at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m. without being able to get back to sleep, it happens… because the night is the time when the small problems of life take on extraordinary proportions. Taking melatonin is an avenue to explore, avoiding caffeine four to six hours before going to bed, eating lighter meals in the evening while avoiding alcohol consumption. »
“Women are hard on themselves and each other. We are easy to judge. Weight gain, extreme fatigue, memory loss, fertile ground for multiplying harmful inner dialogues. I was a shadow of myself, I had lost my vitality, but it was when I heard a lady tell me “it’s a privilege to grow old” that I realized she was right. This phrase has stayed with me ever since. Don’t withdraw into yourself and examine yourself from every angle. »
“I was itchy because my skin was so dry, as was my hair and eyes. It is good to favor natural soaps without perfume, as well as an anti-itch cream recommended by your pharmacist. »
“My anger was uncontrollable, like a hot flash, it came out all at once without warning, to the power of 1000. It is healthy to feel angry, know that you are normal and be kind to yourself. Meditation allowed me to tame my anger, just like doing sports, which lets off steam, or even taking long walks. »
