Marie thought for a long time that it was not for her. That not all women can do it. In short, that she would never know that. Up to 26, to be exact.
Today, since she comes, she is especially “angry” to see how female pleasure remains so little discussed.
“I just really discovered my sexuality,” she wrote to us last spring. It angers me that the female orgasm isn’t discussed more! »
At a table in a café in Drummondville, the young and flirtatious brunette, who awaits us with a page stuffed with calligraphic, scratched or underlined notes, is giving it a go. “If I hadn’t gone for help, I would still be in my beliefs!” […] The guys know that very young […], while us girls are not the same. It is unfair ! »
She’s not 30, but she has a lot to tell (claim?). It’s that when she had her first sexual encounter, around 15 or 16 years old, she had never explored her body. She never even touched herself. “It was dead,” she said, looking us straight in the eye. It didn’t even exist in my head! […] I had no interest and I had never heard of it from people around me. »
However, Marie is obviously a lit, cultured, curious girl. A teacher by profession, she has since done her research, read many books and talked about the subject to all her friends. “And I’m one to trade because it’s rewarding!” »
Still, her first experience is “not so exceptional,” she sums up. And obviously it’s turned towards him [the partner].” The story lasts a few years, and no, it does not get better with time. “I thought it was normal…”
When she separates, at the turn of her twenties, Marie quickly makes a new boyfriend. Rebelote:
After some time, Monsieur leaves her. “And that is important,” she said. He left me to go explore on his own. He had not lived his youth. In the end, he didn’t find anything out, but I…yes! “, she giggles with a knowing little laugh.
She explains herself. “I wanted to get over it, so I thought to myself, I’m going to enjoy it too, and I got it into my head to find a partner just for that.” “To see her smile here, we guess that the result is positive. “A pivotal moment,” she confirms. With him [this new partner], I discovered. »
What exactly ? If her enjoyment will come later, she discovers here rather her femininity. Or his feminine needs, let’s say. “With him, when we did it, it was an experience. There were preliminaries, he took objects, like ice cream, he orchestrated that. He took great care of me. And all that was new! »
New, and above all fulfilling. “I really liked that!” When I think back to that time, it gave me a lot of self-confidence. Looks like I discovered myself as a woman. It made me realize that I had needs. “With one size detail.
Nevertheless, at the time, she still let herself go to a certain “freedom”, without “emotion management”, with this guy, “just for fun”. “An important first step,” she insists, before continuing her story.
Because it’s far from over. Indeed, shortly after, in her mid-twenties, Marie resumed with her ex. “In my head, he was the perfect boyfriend, she justifies, he is someone very rational. […]. I really felt like it was good. »
Except that in bed, it does not improve. So, Marie decides to consult. Verdict? “I realized that I had no sex life with myself,” she said. So, I focused on my personal sexual awakening. ” Finally.
Note that she makes this journey in complete transparency, sharing her thoughts with her boyfriend of the moment: “We were very open, we talked about everything! »
As a good student, Marie buys erotic novels, a vibrator toy, and applies herself wisely in the bathroom. “I’m very cerebral, so it’s been there. ” And then ? It takes her some time, she “works hard” at it, as she puts it, but ultimately victory. “I made it! ” She is 26 years old. And she especially wants to catch up with time. And then ? Instead of detailing her impressions, we understand that she is on a mission: “I wanted to transpose that to two!” »
Except that it’s not that simple, she notes, and above all “not natural at all”. “And then I wanted to be alone in the shower more and more!” »
Quietly, Marie realizes above all that she is no longer in love. We’ll spare you the details, but in the meantime she rediscovers a youthful flirtation (always in complete transparency, her couple tells each other everything, we’ve said it!) and validates, in doing so, that her boyfriend of the moment no longer suits her .
You follow ? It is not finished. Indeed, Marie ends up leaving the boyfriend in question (“a big decision” after yet another “therapy”, because our Marie is “a serious girl!”) and finds herself single. Not for long, since she quickly meets a new pretty boy. That was a little over a year ago. Who ? “The opposite of my boyfriend. How sexual. What physical. The rational, he does not have it all. ” And then ? I’ll try, she told herself. He has a perfect body, very animal, intense! Very attentive to my body. He knew exactly what to do. »
Mary beams. “It was so physically intense! she smiled. I got addicted to this! I can’t see myself living without sex now! »
End of the story ? Not exactly. It’s that relationally, it doesn’t work. Like what good sexuality (as good as it is) is not enough. “It was hard to leave him, because I may never find that, such an intense guy!” Still. Now she knows: “We have needs, and we have to meet them!” And Marie is not about to forget it. “Maybe what I went through can help someone?” »