She is Germany’s best-known sex expert: Paula Lambert (real name Susanne Frömel), who once started with columns for the men’s magazine “GQ”. In 2010 her first non-fiction book was published – title: “Don’t panic, I just want sex: In search of the man for every situation”. Then she came to television, at ProSieben she was on the air with the humorous documentary series “Unter Fremden Decken”. “I’ve always found the subject of sex exciting,” reveals Paula Lambert, unsurprisingly, in an interview. The 48-year-old sees herself in the role “as a mediator of information” and confidant “for every sex and relationship issue”. Since November 2013 she has been presenting her own program “Paula is coming – sex and good nude stories” on sixx.
“I generally have the impression that if you can just talk about sex casually, it goes down well,” she explained. Lambert also pursues her role as an enlightener in the new documentary series “Sex Crime Stories” (from Monday, February 6, 8:15 p.m., sixx), in which she works with Dr. Alexander Stevens analyzed various criminal cases.
teleschau: Ms. Lambert, why do you work as a sex expert on German television?
Paula Lambert: Phew, we have to go back a few years to get the answer (laughs). I’ve always found the subject of sex fascinating. Above all, I was interested in why everyone else is so interested. That’s why I started asking, reading, trying things out. This curiosity drives me to this day. In addition, I’m not afraid to talk about sex in all its facets. I think that combination ultimately made me interesting for television.
teleschau: Is there anything else that interests you about sex?
Lambert: Of course! I not only find the plot itself fascinating, but also the interaction between two people from a psychological point of view incredibly interesting. Sex is always communication, just not with words. It’s not just a physical act, but people meet on a non-verbal level, open up, become more vulnerable. But this “authenticity” can sometimes also cause fear, triggering the desire for protection, for retreat. Then you have to endure it and deal with it. True intimacy takes courage.
teleschau: What role do you see yourself in when you work for formats like “Paula is coming”?
Lambert: In very different ways! On the one hand I see myself as a broker of information, of knowledge, of know-how, on the other hand as an enlightener and go-to person for every sex and relationship question that burns on your soul. Like a kind of big sister or best friend who you can ask any question without being ashamed. It’s important to me that my viewers feel comfortable with me and that nothing has to make them uncomfortable with me.
teleschau: And does your audience feel comfortable?
Lambert: Based on the audience’s reactions, I would say yes. I generally have the impression that it goes down well when you can talk casually about sex. Because otherwise, in my opinion, there is generally a great deal of speechlessness about everything that is somehow about sex. Incidentally, this also applies to people who should actually be able to talk about it. couples for example. The feedback I get is that my shows are extremely helpful in getting people talking to each other. Or to perceive your own needs or to understand what you think and feel.
teleschau: How did those close to you react when you started with sex formats?
Lambert: Oh, they grew into it very comfortably. But I have to admit: my father was a bit embarrassed at first. But now he always calls me when someone says I was on TV. Then he’s happy about it. (laughs)
teleschau: Why is it that people don’t like to talk about sex so much? Are we too uptight?
Lambert: I wouldn’t say uptight. Rather shameful. You are only really uninhibited when you can discuss such topics without shame – because you know that sexuality is natural and normal and is not something that you have to wrap a cloak of silence about. From my point of view, this open and honest exchange is not yet taking place as it should.
Teleschau: Why?
Lambert: Because it’s about personal needs and desires. But also about your own fears. When we talk about it, we make ourselves vulnerable and vulnerable. That is why there is no open discussion on the subject of sex, because none of us want to be hurt, or looked at stupidly, or smiled at. I would really like that to change. Our society would take a big step forward!
teleschau: And how can that change?
Lambert: While sex is natural, it is also the area in which we show ourselves most and reveal the most of ourselves. It is therefore understandable that there is a certain reluctance, a sense of modesty. And it can stay! But we also have to learn to deal honestly with our feelings and needs and, above all, to express them clearly and without fear. The more we all talk about sex in this way, about our desires, about what is good for us – and also what is not – the more relaxed we will be in dealing with the topic and the better we will all be able to do it openly to be, to become and to stay.
teleschau: You will soon start with the new documentary series “Sex Crime Stories”…
Lambert: Exactly, and I’m very happy that the sixx audience will dive into the world of true crime with me for six episodes. At my side I have the criminal defense attorney Dr. Alexander Stevens, whom many probably know from his podcasts and books. He specializes in sexual criminal law and has been working in this special legal field for a really long time. Working with him was great! And the “sex crime stories” that he’s experienced throughout his career and that he’ll tell us about on the show are just incredible. Sometimes bizarre, sometimes shocking, often amusing. I’m a big true crime fan myself and the “Sex Crime Stories” bring two of my passions together: sex and crime. Almost my perfect format! (laughs)
teleschau: Which cases are discussed?
Lambert: There is everything from escalating swinger club visits to compromising fake sex tapes. But what we deliberately avoided are stories in which sexualized violence occurs. The “Sex Crime Stories” are more about naughtiness and things that make you think “This can’t be true!” But my hope is that the viewers will not only be entertained, but also get to think – especially what one’s own actions.
teleschau: What do you mean by that?
Lambert: My impression is that we are sometimes too careless with ourselves and the issue of security, especially in the area of online dating. Trust is good and important, but you have to be aware that there are people who use this trust for their own benefit.
teleschau: But couldn’t the audience be better awakened if more brutal cases are seen?
Lambert: No. Brutality may satisfy voyeuristic needs, but I don’t see any real added value in rolling out atrocities in public.
teleschau: Why didn’t you shoot this documentary series earlier?
Lambert: Good things take time, and I think now is the right time. In podcasts, but also in the print media, for example, true crime has become a very successful and well-established genre. It’s about time it became the same on TV.
teleschau: Have you become speechless in some cases?
Lambert: Absolutely! When I read Alexander’s stories, I kept thinking to myself: “It really can’t be like that!” And I’ve heard a lot of true crime stories over the past few years!
teleschau: Where, for example?
Lambert: If I were to reveal that now, I would take away all the tension! (laughs). The viewers have to tune in for that.
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The original of this post “Sex expert on “shameful” society: “True intimacy takes courage”” comes from Teleschau.
