Sophia Thiel has over a million followers on Instagram. She had to fight hard for her success: as a teenager she was a victim of bullying until she developed a passion for weight training. That was the beginning of her career as a fitness influencer.
But her career shows breaks. In the interview, Thiel describes how she suffered a breakdown. And shares thoughts worth considering about the price of success and mental health.
FOCUS Online: You are probably Germany’s most successful fitness influencer. What was the price of success?
Sophia Thiel: I more or less slipped into the whole thing. I never planned to become an influencer one day. I then quickly realized that it wasn’t just a “9 to 5” job. And not limited to a few days of the week. Social Media is a 24 hour, 7 days a week job! We started posting a lot back then. One photo every day on Instagram and two YouTube videos a week.
That doesn’t work “by the way”!
Sophia Thiel: Yes, it meant a lot of work if you wanted to create as much content as possible. Accordingly, at some point my whole everyday life was determined by it. I hardly had any time for my family.
In addition to all the sport, the focus on nutrition and social media, I actually hardly had any time for personal things or free time. I put all my time into it. That was the price of success.
Was it particularly stressful because you were constantly in the spotlight?
Sophia Thiel: I originally started with bodybuilding and after my bodybuilding competitions I realized that I not only have to be in good shape for competitions, but also for social media. And that 365 days a year! I was very strict with myself then. For the competitions, I practiced giving up a lot. Especially when it comes to nutrition. It was basically a permanent diet. That was also part of the price of my success because it was the only way I could exist as a fitness influencer on social media. So there was already a very high price. And in the long run it didn’t go well in my case either.
In 2019 you withdrew from the public completely. Her comeback followed in 2021 together with her book, which bears the apt title “Comeback stronger”. What happened in your life between 2019 and 2021?
Sophia Thiel: Because I gave up more than was actually good for me and I actually needed, I got the receipt in 2019. My body was pretty drained from all the training and dieting. I myself was no longer able to really perceive my needs. Accordingly, I didn’t even know what I needed or what I was missing. I was struggling more and more with myself. Until I completely pulled the ripcord in 2019 because I no longer knew what the problem was. I then wanted to go as far away as possible. I wanted to be completely alone and just escape.
They went to the US.
Sophia Thiel: In Los Angeles I felt worse than ever. I was completely on my own. I’ve never been alone in my life before and that was really a very difficult phase. I then spent a year trying to force myself into shape on my own to get back as a fitness influencer. At the end of 2019 I dropped the thought.
In May 2020 I went into therapy. That was the most valuable decision because at that point I was able to take strong and rapid steps towards improvement. In January 2021, I realized that I had learned so many new things and noticed that I had finally found my way back to myself. There were a lot of things that I wanted to shout out to the world. I had a desire to come back, but in a new, old way. To this day, I still love weight training. During the break I realized that it really is something that gives me joy and quality of life.
What did you change back then?
Sophia Thiel: I wanted to counter this diet madness, the extreme body culture and this superficiality of social media with a new approach! I wanted to come back with a fresh approach and include the mental health issue.
The subtitle of your book is “My Long Search for Myself”. How would you summarize the process? What lessons did you learn from it?
Sophia Thiel: Everyone asks themselves in their childhood or puberty: Where do I actually belong? Who am I? what makes me special
Of course you are looking for a connection and you want to belong somehow. It all starts very early. I was like, okay, I’ll fit in if I fit a certain beauty standard, because all popular people were kind of pretty and attractive or slim. However, I used to be the robust and strong one. So I figured if I lived up to that standard of beauty, I would be included.
Have you lost yourself?
Sophia Thiel: I quickly fell into this diet madness. But later, thank God, I got into sports. When I was doing sports, I realized that I wasn’t that bad at it and that I felt good about it. I also achieved my goals through sport: lose weight, get recognition and belong. And it was precisely on this journey that I lost myself a bit. Because sport shouldn’t just be there to manipulate your appearance or get a six-pack. I then realized that. I identified very strongly with my job and my achievements. I felt like a valuable person when I performed well or when I just trained really hard and had a six-pack. The figures I received via social media were confirmation for me.
But that wasn’t enough in the long run.
Sophia Thiel: But then I realized that it doesn’t bother me. Eventually that all went away in the hiatus and I asked myself who I actually am. Today I have recognized my true values for me, which are independent of this achievement. I found myself in the sense of finding my way back to myself. What actually makes me special? I am a valuable and incredibly loving person, regardless of the external circumstances, no matter what I look like. Realizing that was worth a lot to me! That’s how I got to know my true worth during my time off.
A valuable insight.
Sophia Thiel: I have the feeling that even if everything around me should fall away now, at the end of the day I still have myself. And that was the most valuable lesson I could take with me: knowing that I always have myself And being alone isn’t even bad. There is a difference between being alone and lonely. I used to feel lonely too, but now I don’t have to and I feel like I’ve found myself again.
What questions do you think one should ask oneself in order to find oneself and be happy?
Sophia Thiel: I don’t think there is a general formula for becoming happy or finding oneself here either. “Being happy” is of course also a very big term. But still: I ask the classic why question. Especially during a break or therapy, this is very often asked about. So why am I acting like this? Why do I have this behavior pattern? Why do I need to do body building? Why do I even want to lose weight? To please others better?
I had to find out what my real motivators are: what came from outside, what from myself? These questions untied many knots in me.
What were the consequences of this clarification?
Sophia Thiel: After the clarification, I had to separate that from what I only do because of others, because one is often influenced by the environment:
So when I ask myself why I’m doing something or if I really want something… it often helps me to recognize my needs and to pursue them. At the end of the day, that makes me happier and, to put it mildly, happier.
